Ten Types of Science

“Follow the Science!” Recently, this obnoxious battle cry has been raised by all sides to mock opponents and to assert their views are correct because they can point to some scientific authority. Actual, real, pure, and true science never pretends to be the truth, but evidence of what the truth may be. Actual, real, pure, and true science invites criticism and contradiction in the search for truth. Challenges to a stated position are welcomed because they test the articulated theory or opinion. It has unfortunately become the norm to “follow the science” only when it suits the advocate and to disparage, mock, and suppress anything that does not support the advocate’s positions. That is contrary to science, and contrary to American values. “I detest what you write, but will defend to the death your right to write it.” (slightly paraphrasing Voltaire, the essence of which was repeated many times by our founding fathers). I refer you to the poster in the Store on this site entitled “Spotting Bad Science” which may assist you in distinguishing good science from other types. For your convenience in developing your Catastrophic Thinking skills, I offer my dirty dozen of the types of science, nine of which pretend to be true science, and two of which make no pretensions about their “theories.”

Ten types of science:

  1. true or pure science - research the “scientific method”

  2. franken-science - well-meaning scientists conduct experiments with unintended consequences such as “gain-of-function.”

  3. social science - applying the scientific method to essentially irrational beings incapable of more than approximate measurements.

  4. political science - pretending the science is settled and not subject to rational dissension. An early example was the dogma that the Sun revolved around the Earth.

  5. circus science - bad science created to advance a particular cause or political position. Research the Surgisphere scandal of 2020. Circus science may entertain the masses but it is still bad science.

  6. criminal science - the science that allowed Covid-19 patients to be housed in nursing homes.

  7. pseudo-science - paranormal studies, numerology, astrology, flat earth theory, hollow earth theory, dowsing, psychokinesis, spiritualism, and many, many cults.

  8. dark sciences - voodoo, Nazi scientists, cloning of humans, genetic engineering, and Japan Unit 731 are all examples.

  9. alchemy - someday this field of science will emerge as a serious study of atomic structures when we are able to fuse individual protons and neutrons into a nucleus, thereby creating a different element. For example, platinum becomes gold with one more neutron and one more proton.

  10. physics—My favorite field of science because you can make it all up and it still qualifies as science. I was torn between the study of law and the study of physics. Both fields make it all up. Physics consists of TOPPPEECS. Theories, opinions, predictions, promises, projections, estimates, extrapolations, conjectures, and speculation. You can read thirty or more pages in a physics text and never run across a single fact.

  11. science fiction is not science and never will be. The opposite of prescience.

  12. economics—it can be social science as long as it does not “assume a can opener.” Sorry, that may be an allusion to an old joke which you may find on the internet using the phrase as the punch line. The joke begins with a chemist, an engineer, and an economist stranded on a desert island with a can of beans…

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